Creating My Own Reality: Health
A few weeks ago, in an online course facilitated by Rick Stack, one of Jane Roberts’ original students, I read a quote from Seth that fixated my attention. In one sense, it was nothing new to me, because it was a reiteration of his core principle that we all form our own realities.
But there was a bit of a twist in this iteration:
When that point of awareness strikes you truly—when beyond what you are told, beyond what you hear and read—you understand emotionally, intuitively, intellectually that you do indeed create your own reality—then, in your terms…a new kind of consciousness is born in you…You feel the birth of intellect and intuition together in a high intellect…It will come again and again, until it becomes a second, newer nature (from Seth Class Session).
What riveted my attention was the word “emotionally,” for I realized that I accepted the notion that I create my own reality intuitively and intellectually, but very rarely emotionally. Seth was saying that without acceptance on all three levels, an individual cannot move fully into a “high intellect” that empowers the individual on a conscious level to direct his or her life in a total manner.
As I thought more about this issue, I realized that I, like many other seekers, have had moments of “high intellect” that, unfortunately, did not last. One such occurrence took place almost six years ago while taking an advanced course in medical hypnotherapy. I suddenly felt that I had to do something about my chronic health issues, and sought the services of “S,” one of the trainers. Below are my notes from that experience.
Notes from Hypnotherapy Session with “S”, 8-15-06
I went in with the idea that I had to do something about my health. I tried to get into one statement the feeling I was intuiting about my health and came up with, “I don’t want to take care of my body.” The emphasis is not on my wanting someone else to take care of me; it is rather on not wanting to bother caring for my body. I also felt some anger at having to care. And maybe some fear. “S” asked me where I felt the anger/fear in my body, and I said, “Around my abdomen.” I also felt my hands clenched.
“S” helped me create an affect bridge with these feelings and body sensations. She tried to take me back to a scene in this life, but I went to a scene in 1642 in England. I was in a dungeon in England. I was bound by steel/iron bands around my waist, wrists, and (as I discovered later) around my neck. I was going to be left to die. I was a member of an outlaw gang and had been caught without my family’s (wife and child) and perhaps my band’s knowing about it. I was very dirty, with only a kind of loincloth around my genitals. I had a lot of dark, black hair and a big beard. I was 42.
It seems that I was probably being left to starve to death. I was fighting against the restraints; and, when I realized that I was also bound around the neck, I started to panic. I was trying not to believe that I was completely restrained because that belief, I thought, would make me go crazy. I wished that I was let loose and given a chance to move and run, even if I was cut down or speared. Being restrained was the worst fear. I remember thinking that if I did not have my body, I would be free, free from bodily suffering. I was angry that I had to worry about my body.
Then, when “S” asked if I saw my captors, I told her one man was approaching me with a metal cup of water, which I drank, but hated the taste and the fact that the water dribbled out of the corners of my mouth. At that point, I flashed to an image of Christ on the cross being offered a drink on a sponge by one of the Centurions. Then I realized that I was nailed or roped to a cross for crucifixion as one of the thousands of slaves led by Spartacus, who were crucified along the Appian way when the Romans foiled their great rebellion. I did not stay long in this incarnation, only long enough to notice that, once again, I was restrained until I died. Having a body was, once again, the means to suffer.
When “S” asked if I visualized any other experiences of constraint, I flashed to when I was a kid and, one or two times a year, found myself trapped under the covers that my mother had tucked in tightly. I would wake up and feel trapped by the covers (though I did not know where I was for a moment or two) because my head was near the foot of the bed and my feet near the head of the bed.
Then “S” rolled my head and took me away from all of that and asked me to see myself in a chair a few feet in from of me and talk to me. She asked me to consult with me. After the suffering part of me said with anger and anguish to the other that this was not okay, etc., the other part said that it kept creating incarnations for the suffering one because it was “weak,” had not fought back against the constraints, etc. The suffering part angrily said that it could not fight back with such constraints. The other part said that the suffering part should still fight back, but the other part did not know any other way to offer the suffering part.
As Joe in 2006, I said that I knew I had created all of the incarnations, that I was the one who was restraining me.
Next “S” asked me to summon and picture a wise figure. I saw a guy with extremely long white hair and beard, both of which covered his face so I could not really see it. She asked to talk to him directly. When she asked his name, he said, “Joab.” As I spoke for him, I could feel him quite amused. He told “S” that Joe’s incarnations did not see that this was all pretense, a game, to get Joe to see in a deeply real way that he created his own reality, his own restraints. He said that Joe was quite bright, but a bit dense about all of this. He told “S” (paraphrased):
The problem with Joe’s food intake is his belief that food makes him gain weight and maintain his chronic illnesses. He does not realize that this belief helps him to create the ILLUSION of constraints (that to get better, he has to restrict his intake of food and bind himself to the notion of exercising). HIS BELIEF THAT HE WAS CONSTRAINED CAUSED HIM TO SET UP THE HEALTH SITUATION WHEREIN HE WOULD FEEL CONSTRAINED (HAVING TO DIET AND EXERCISE) IN TRYING TO OVERCOME IT. If he dissolves the other belief that he is only strong if he fights against constraint, he will find that he can eat any food he wants and exercise little and BE HEALTHY. But because he now so believes that only diet and exercise can help him out of his health situation, he will stay unhealthy if he does not diet and exercise. So, for NOW, he needs to diet and exercise to convince his conscious mind that he has power. In time, he will realize that he has far more power than he has ever thought; and then the focus will not be on how much exercise he does or how much food he takes in; it will be, rather, on which beliefs he will choose to manifest in his body.
He has worked minor miracles for others, but he now needs to work for himself a miracle around his health to move to the next stage of his spiritual development. All this setup over many incarnations is his soul’s way of getting him to see in a very concrete way that he creates his own reality, to own that his body is his creation and that he has control over its processes. That he is sick is an illusion, but he believes in his sickness, so it manifests.
Moreover, he must understand that his body is his instrument in this three-dimensional reality, that it enables him to enjoy the beauty of, for instance, the mountains of New Mexico. Without this instrument he could not love concretely or be, himself, part of the beauty of the landscape. He does not have to suffer in his body to prove that he is strong; rather he must show he is strong by being willing to recognize as such the illusion of believing that his body is fundamentally ill or ill-suited for his needs in three-dimensional life. Had he not adopted these beliefs, he would not have been a slave to his own illusions nor an outlaw from the norm of Life itself, and thus he would not have ‘suffered’ those deaths while ‘constrained.’
I was the agent of the “blood incident”** today. When he was most relaxed and non-defensive, I was able to cause him to bleed so that he could see that he could stop the bleeding by imagining and willing it. If he can do that, he can stop the diabetes, heart disease and hypertension. He will see that he created them for purposes that were well-intentioned to gain him strength, but which had the opposite effect of weakening his sense of his fundamental power. He does not need these illness any longer; in truth, he never “needed” them.
Joe needs to remember the bleeding incident. He needs to eat and exercise in the “healthy” way his conscious mind knows UNTIL he gets it completely that what is the root issue is his negative belief(s) about his control of his body.
I then told “S” that Joab was laughing, asking me if he had done well in his “get-up” of the Wise Old Man.” I told her that I told him that he should get a haircut!
“S” then gave me a lot of relevant suggestions about living in my body for the joy it brings and its use as an instrument of transformation for me and those people I have yet to help.
**Blood incident: This bizarre incident started right as “T” (the facilitator) was counting us out of the group hypnosis designed to send healing energy to people not in the room (such as “L” and “C” last November). I felt some “liquid” running down my back on the right side, over my kidney. I thought someone sitting in back of me had spilled some water on me. But when I reached back, touched my shirt, and then looked at my hand, two of my fingers were covered in blood. I was a bit freaked, and put my hand under my shirt in the same place, only to get more blood on my fingers. So I immediately got up and went to the bathroom. Synchronistically, one of the other students who is a doctor, “happened” to be in the hallway at the same time, and I asked him to come into the bathroom with me to investigate the bleeding. When I took off my shirt, I found it soaked in blood (even staining, I found out later, the back of the chair I had been sitting in) and my back smeared with it. I wondered if I had cut myself. The doctor, “G,” wiped away the blood, looking for the source and said, finally, that he thought a mole had come off because there was a minor “indentation” at the site of the bleeding. He applied pressure and then led me hypnotically to imagine he was placing ice on the site and that the capillaries were capping and my blood was withdrawing from the site. Well, I had some trouble imagining the ice until I touched the cool sink and was able to do some imaging. Much to my surprise, the bleeding stopped in about a minute and a half, which is highly strange, given how much blood had dripped out and given that I am on a daily dose of aspirin which thins the blood and extends the time needed for coagulation. I now believe, as Joab, said, that I was supposed to see that I could control my body. And I could not understand how the mole got ripped out. I do NOT remember any scratching of that area; and even if I had done so unconsciously, it would have taken a lot of painful digging to get the mole out. Just amazing!
So many of the individuals who now come to me for spiritual hypnotherapy have significant physical ailments (some of which have no medical cause) or simply do not want to be here, do not want to be embodied. As with me, many of the people have had incarnations where they were abused in body for promulgating a new spirituality. My experience noted above might be useful for them to know, for the best antidote to the fear of repeating such abuse is to realize, once again, that we are creating all of that because of “past” limiting beliefs that are fully present.
As I reread the notes for the umpteenth time, I, of course, wish that I could attain and retain that level of awareness I reached during the hypnotherapeutic process. I am relieved, however, to note what Seth says: “It will come again and again, until it becomes a second, newer nature.” And that high intellect will have to come again and again and again and again.